Quote unquote

Fond of collecting quotes - these are related to software, which inherently lends itself to being lampooned. Thanks to stack overflow and google.

• There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who can read binary and those who cannot. – Anon
• Perl - The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption. - Keith Bostic
• In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion. – Anon
• If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. – Edsger Dijkstra
• A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention in human history, with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. – Mitch Ratcliffe
• If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. – Gerald Weinberg
• Nine people can’t make a baby in a month. – Fred Brooks
• There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence. – Jeremy S. Anderson
• The gap between theory and practice is not as wide in theory as it is in practice. – Anon
• In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. - Another version of the above
• We have a deal with God – he doesn’t produce software and we do not produce miracles – A s/w engineer
• Why do we never have time to do it right, but always have time to do it over? — Anonymous developer
• Software and cathedrals are much the same – first we build them, then we pray — Samuel T. Redwine, Jr.
• The three chief virtues of a programmer are: Laziness, Impatience and Hubris. – Larry Wall, in the Programming Perl book
• Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. - Rick Osborne
• Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I’ll use regular expressions." Now they have two problems. - Jamie Zawinski
• If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution. - Robert Sewell
• On a clear disk you can seek forever. - Anon
• The most amazing achievement of the computer software industry is its continuing cancellation of the steady and staggering gains made by the computer hardware industry. - Henry Petroski
• C++ : Where friends have access to your private members. - Gavin Russell Baker